The Perfect Balance Page 6

  “Think about it, Miranda. You are a beautiful and brave woman. Don’t let fear win, don’t let him win.”

  “How did—”

  “I may not be as much of a stranger as you think. Both Chase and I have been keeping our eyes on you since you joined the hospital staff. We’ve seen you slowly come out of your shell, watched in silence as you crawled out of the darkness that had consumed your life. We’ve been waiting for you. When you’re ready, we’ll be here. Till then…”

  Vic leant into the window and pressed his lips to hers. They were soft, inviting. They moved over Miranda’s, encouraging her to respond. Her nipples tightened almost immediately, and Miranda felt a funny tingle move down the length of her body. Miranda opened her mouth, and Vic’s hand slid behind her neck. He slipped his tongue past Miranda’s lips and laved at her mouth. The slow slide of his hot tongue caused Miranda’s hands to tighten on the steering wheel. The tingle settled between her legs, and Miranda felt her body softening in response to Vic’s attention. Holy cow! Her head buzzed until she remembered to take a breath through her nose. If this is how a simple kiss made her feel, what would happen if she allowed Vic or Chase to actually meld their bodies together with hers? Vic’s mouth moved slowly over hers. His tongue softly commanded her attention, Chase was a lucky man if Vic put this much focus into kissing his partner. A flash image of Vic and Chase kissing each other ricocheted through Miranda’s brain and a soft moan escaped from her throat. When she expected Vic to take the kiss deeper, he actually slowed and pulled back.

  Vic’s thumb smoothed over Miranda’s cheek. “Beautiful and responsive. Your sweet taste is alluring. I’ll count the days till I can hold you in my arms for real.” He turned and jogged away.

  Miranda turned on the Jeep and set the air conditioning to high. “Holy cow, Axel.”

  She heard Axel whine out a yawn and laughed. “Did we wear you out? You big baby. All right, we’ll go home, and you can fall asleep in front of the television.”

  She pulled out of the Arboretum and headed back towards her studio in Cambridge. She’d been lucky to get the last furnished unit in the complex. Her place was only ten minutes from the hospital across the Charles River Basin. They’d met a few of their neighbours and everyone seemed nice. Miranda was more convinced than ever that the move to Boston had been her best decision. She loved the city, her hospital, and now that she and Axel had settled down, it seemed as though their lives were really moving forward.

  Now all she had to do was decide if she wanted to risk her heart again.

  * * * *

  Chase paced his living room, waiting for Vic to get back from the Arboretum, and his attempted interception of Miranda. Chase had overheard her talking to one of the other nurses about her plans to run the Peter’s Hill loop this afternoon. He and Vic had become increasingly interested in the woman over the past month. Whenever she was assigned to Chase’s OR, he found himself wondering how her small hands would feel caressing his body. If her soft voice rose in volume when she came, or if she made a little hitch as her body unravelled around him. He cherished those moments when her deep brown eyes would meet his across the table. Chase had taken to stalking the halls of the OR floor on the days he did surgery simply for the pleasure of hearing her voice.

  They decided to take the chance and literally run Miranda down to test the waters. Vic was the runner of the two of them, so he was the logical choice in their mission, but the wait was nerve-racking. Chase pushed open the door to his terrace and stepped out into the summer air. He leant against the banister and looked out at the curve of the Charles River as it snaked its way towards downtown.

  Was Miranda ready? Would she even be interested in the type of arrangement Chase and Vic wanted to propose? Not many women would be, Chase knew that, but he’d sensed something special about the woman. Beneath the damaged psyche left from the asshole of a man who’d abused her, he sensed a heart capable of great love and openness. Would it be enough?

  The door behind him opened and Chase immediately detected Vic’s presence. “Did you find her?”

  They hadn’t even known exactly what time Miranda planned on going for her run, so Vic had left Chase’s place early that morning to lie in wait.

  Vic slid his arms around Chase’s waist. “Yep. Guess what?”

  Chase relaxed against Vic’s chest. Vic may have been leaner than him, but he had the best arms to hold him with. Chase had loved how when Vic held him, it was with more than his body, Vic held him with all his heart. He had from the very beginning of their time together back in medical school.

  Vic placed his lips at Chase’s ear and whispered, “She has a puppy. Two year old white boxer named Axel.”

  Chase smiled. He’d always loved boxers and Vic knew it. “And?”

  “She’s scared, but intrigued at the same time. There’s physical desire there, but I think she’s afraid of trusting a man again, or men in this case.”

  “That’s natural given what we suspect. How intrigued?”

  “Enough that when I kissed her, she kissed me back.”

  Chase turned to see the truth of the statement in Vic’s eyes. He looked at his lover’s lips. Miranda’s mouth had been there. Vic sealed their lips together. The slow kiss filled his senses, and Chase imagined that a hint of Miranda’s taste lingered on Vic’s lips. He wasn’t kissing Miranda though, he was kissing Vic. His Vic. The only man he’d ever loved. Until now, the only person he’d ever truly wanted. Anyone else he’d ever slept with had been a place holder until he and Vic could be reunited, and part of Chase always felt the need to go back and apologise to them for that. It wasn’t manly to pine for the person who was your first love, so Chase kept that little bit to himself. However, there were some nights when he and Vic would be lying together in bed that Chase would look into Vic’s pale blue eyes, and suspect his partner knew the truth. The only consolation was that Chase saw the same truth mirrored back at him.

  Chase wrapped his arms around Vic’s waist and pulled their bodies together. He felt Vic’s cock thickening behind the thin nylon running shorts. Vic’s bare arms were wrapped around Chase’s neck, one hand buried in the loose strands of his hair at the base of his skull.

  Vic broke their kiss and nuzzled his nose alongside Chase’s. “Come inside. It’s hotter than Hades out here.”

  “You need a cool shower. Can’t have you getting heat-stroke.”

  “That’s okay. I have a doctor at my beck and call to save me.”

  * * * *

  Chase saw Miranda at the end of the hall and stealthily tried to catch up with her. They’d just finished their most recent case. A young child with a bilateral complete cleft lip and palate. The little boy was only three months old, and it always tore a little piece of Chase’s heart to see someone that young on his table, but now the boy would have a better chance of developing normal speech and he wouldn’t have the complications of feeding that his parents had struggled with for the early months of his life. Time would tell if he’d have any complications from the congenital malformation.

  Chase pushed open the door to the staff lounge, where he’d seen Miranda disappear. He was glad to see she was the only one inside. It wasn’t exactly normal for doctors to hang out in here, since they had their own lounge. She was pouring a cup of coffee, and Chase watched those slim capable hands. He frowned when he noticed they were trembling, and when Miranda cursed as a splash of hot coffee landed on her delicate skin, Chase found himself racing over to her before he even realised what he was doing.

  “Quick, get your hand under some cool water.”

  He turned on the faucet in the sink beside the coffee machine and pulled Miranda’s hand beneath the flow. He stood behind her, surrounding her small body with his. Chase’s thumb rubbed the soft skin on the back of her hand. “Better?” he asked, softly.

  Miranda nodded and beneath her pony cap Chase saw the edges of her brown hair. He wanted to nuzzle the skin behind her ear and wallow in the delicate scent th
at was all Miranda beneath the antiseptic smells of the hospital.

  He reached out and turned off the water with his other hand, refusing to let go of Miranda’s recently singed skin. It was still slightly red, and Chase examined it to make sure the burn wasn’t more serious than he’d first suspected.

  “I think you’ll be fine. What had your hands shaking?”

  “You.”

  Chase’s heart lurched at the single word. Did that mean Miranda was afraid of him? “Why do I make you tremble?”

  “Because I’m scared. I…want you, and yet my mind screams at me that the last time I gave in to my body’s and heart’s desire, my life became a living hell.”

  The desolate tone of her voice made Chase’s chest hurt. He turned Miranda around and pulled her close against him. “Honey, I need you to be honest with me. Does anything Vic or I do remind you of Drew? Really truly mimic the things he did or the way he treated you?”

  She shook her head against his chest. “No, but he didn’t change until after we were married. Once I was signed, sealed and delivered, it was as if the curtain rose and the real show began.”

  He and Vic had spent the last month gradually winning Miranda over. They’d convinced her to hang out and watch movies at their places, they’d all taken Axel to the park and played. In moments such as those, Chase had almost felt as if they were a family.

  “I guess that’s where the trust comes in. You keep talking about the risk of opening yourself up to Vic and I, but I think what you keep forgetting is that you have the same amount of power in this relationship as we do. I have to trust Vic not to break my heart just as he has to trust me, and honey, we have to trust you that you won’t break either of ours as well.”

  The sexual side of their relationship hadn’t gone any further than kisses, but they were kisses more pleasurable than Chase had ever encountered with another woman. In fact, when he kissed Miranda, he had the same emotional stirrings as he did when he kissed Vic. That and the camaraderie they experienced as a group convinced Chase more than anything that they were all meant to be together. That the elusive someday was closer than he imagined a few months ago.

  She felt so right in his arms. Petite and curvy, soft with a spine of steel. He knew she thought herself to be plain, but to Chase and Vic, Miranda was beautiful. They’d tried to show her and said the words repeatedly, but he knew she didn’t believe them. Chase had noticed that Miranda never actually looked at herself in a mirror. She would look at parts, such as when she put on eyeliner or lip gloss. She would check to make sure her shirt laid right, but he’d never seen her step back and admire the woman staring back at her.

  Chase saw the door to the lounge open and there stood Vic. How his partner knew they needed him and where to find them he’d never know, but Chase was eternally grateful for Vic’s presence.

  “To be honest. You have more power than we do. What would happen if you fell in love with Vic but not me, or vice versa? Vic and I are good together, we always have been, but we’ve been incomplete as well. That is until we met you. You have the power to make us into a real family. It’s a scary thing to know that I have to relinquish control, but I’ll gladly do so if it means living out the dreams I hold deep in my heart.”

  Vic walked over to them. He placed his hands on Miranda’s waist, and snuggled up behind her. His and Chase’s lips met for a brief second then Vic leant down and kissed Miranda’s temple. “We’re falling in love with you, princess. Someday, I hope you can say the same.”

  “I already do. I think that’s part of why I’m scared. My love wasn’t enough to hold one man, how can I ever expect to hold on to two?”

  Vic closed his eyes and took a breath. “Because that asshole you married never loved you in the first place. I’m sure he talked a big game, but it was all pomp and circumstance. One-sided relationships like that never work. He used you, whereas we’ll treasure you. You were his servant, while we want to treat you as if you are our queen.”

  Miranda looked up between their bodies. The top of her head only came to their chests. Chase leant down and kissed her. It was brief and soft, with only the barest hint of tongue. When Chase pulled back, Vic leant over Miranda’s shoulder and kissed her. This was something Chase found that he enjoyed, watching the two people who held his heart in an embrace. Before when he and Vic had shared women, Chase had found the sight mildly arousing but nothing more. However, when he watched Vic kiss Miranda it was as if his heart actually beat faster in his chest and swelled to twice its normal size.

  Miranda slid out from between Vic and Chase. “I understand better now. Please give me a little more time.”

  “As I said to you before, when you’re ready we’ll be here.”

  Chapter Five

  Miranda picked up Axel’s leash and her best friend trotted over at the familiar sight. She snapped the clip onto his collar and gave the back of his ears a good rub. “You ready to go play?”

  Axel turned in circles excitedly till he faced their front door then stood at attention.

  “Okay boy, let me get your rope.” She scooped up the braided rope, her keys, phone and shoved her ID wallet with a couple of dollars stashed inside in the back pocket of her jean shorts. Miranda hated carrying her purse when she was out running or taking Axel to the park.

  “Where should we go today? Do you want to walk over to Riverside or should we jump in the Jeep and go across the Charles into Back Bay?”

  Axel wasn’t much help. He stood waiting patiently at the door. When he looked over his shoulder at Miranda as if to say what’s taking so long, she shook her head and chuckled.

  “Okay, I get the message.”

  Axel spent the elevator ride being petted by one of the kids in the building, and by the time they walked out of the building he had a definite spring in step.

  “You are such a pet-slut, you know that?”

  Miranda turned her head up into the sunshine and took a deep breath. It wasn’t too hot for mid-July. She’d spent Independence Day working, and while she would’ve liked to have seen the fireworks over the river, she understood that as the low woman on the totem pole she was destined to work all the holidays for at least her first year. It wasn’t that big of a deal. It wasn’t as though she had family to see. After Miranda had turned in the papers for her divorce, her mother had basically cut her off. Being a staunch traditionalist, her mother felt a woman should support her husband at all costs. When you married, you married for life, regardless of a good or bad situation. Miranda had called her mom shortly before she moved, and left a message on her answering machine with her new contact information, trying once again to mend the gap that had formed in their relationship, but never got a call back.

  It was difficult knowing that her mother had moved from indifference to disappointment. Miranda had tried her entire life to live up to her mom’s expectations. She’d studied hard and chosen the right group of friends. She’d got her first part-time job at the age of sixteen and never asked her parents for a dime of spending money thereafter. But despite everything, Eleanor Green never once gave any indication that she was proud of her daughter. Hell, Miranda couldn’t even remember the last time her mom had said “I love you.”

  She shook off the depressing thoughts and looked down at Axel. “Let’s go have some fun. I think we should go over to The Fens. That means we need to go over to the garage.”

  As they walked to the parking complex, Miranda thought about what Chase and Vic had said the other day about trust and building their relationship. Up till now, the men had been the ones to initiate any time they spent together. Miranda had enjoyed their outings, and in fact looked forward to their invitations, but she’d yet to reach out her hand. Maybe today was a good day to take another small step forward.

  “Axel, we’re making a detour.”

  She turned the Jeep towards Western Avenue so she could take the Three-A South towards Chase’s condo. He lived only about ten minutes away from Miranda over on Mount Auburn
Street. She knew Chase wasn’t working today, but she didn’t know about Vic. He was scheduled to be on call, so he may be with Chase or he may have been called to the hospital. Then again, this was a gamble because there was nothing to guarantee that they’d even be at Chase’s home. They could be at Vic’s, or not home at all, but Miranda felt as though she needed to take a chance.

  She looked in her rear view mirror. “We’re going to see if Chase and Vic want to play with us.”

  Axel gave a little bark then stuck his head out the window Miranda had lowered for him.

  The dark blue of the Charles whizzed past her and she smiled when she passed a cruise boat.

  “I want to go on one of those, Axel. I think it’d be a nice way to see some of our new home. I know we’re locals now, but sometimes I still feel as if we’re tourists.”

  She cranked the lever to lower her window as well and sighed as the air rushing past the car lifted the damp tendrils from her temple. She’d tied her hair up in a loose knot, but the midday summer sun was still warm. The air from the soft brushes of her hair against her skin reminded her of Vic’s and Chase’s soft kisses.

  They both seemed to enjoy peppering her skin with little touches. Soft, alluring, almost innocent kisses. Were they afraid of scaring her should they actually express more ardent emotions? Miranda had to admit that she had been very nervous when she first met them, and it was apparent that they’d picked up on those nerves. However, now her hands trembled more often not from fear but arousal.

  She wanted both of the men. She knew they were physically attracted to her. One nice thing about men was that they couldn’t exactly disguise the physical reactions of their body when they were aroused. She’d felt the evidence of both Vic’s and Chase’s desire press against her on more than one occasion. With Drew, any time they’d had sex he’d ordered her to suck him to get him hard. It was a nice feeling to know that Vic and Chase wanted to make love with her. That they didn’t see sex as a chore.